LOL - Ohio prosecutor seeks death penalty for Punxsutawney Phil after bad forecast

[bsteadman]

Ohio prosecutor seeks death penalty for Punxsutawney Phil after bad forecast

The Washington Post
Jason Samenow
3/21/2013

Excerpt:

As severe cold grips the eastern U.S. on March 21, Punxsutawney Phil’s forecast for an early spring is best described as an epic failure. The prosecuting attorney of Butler County, Ohio, Michael Gmoser, wants the groundhog to pay for his flawed prediction, with his life.

Gmoser filed an indictment against Phil which reads accordingly:

On or about February 02,2013, at Gobbler’s Knob, Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that Spring would come early. Contrary to the Groundhog day report, a snowstorm and record low temperatures have been and are predicted to continue in the near future, which constitutes the offense of MISREPRESENTATION OF EARLY SPRING, a Unclassified Felony, and against the peace and dignity of the State Of Ohio.

SPECIFICATION: The people further find and specify that due to the aggravating circumstances and misrepresentation to the people that the death penalty be implemented to the defendant, Punxsutawney Phil

Gmoser said in a phone interview that waking up to snow and temperatures in the teens on the second day of spring served as motivation for the indictment.

“When he betrays us like this, something has to be done,” Gmoser said.

Gmoser expects Phil to appeal the indictment.

“His defense will be he didn’t know his rear end from a hole in the ground,” Gmoser said.
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View the complete article at:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/...-bad-forecast/

[bsteadman]

I am proud to state that our GEORGIA GROUNDHOG, General Beau Lee, flawlessly provided the nation with a 100% accurate prediction of winter weather conditions for the early months of 2013!

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Groundhog Day 2013

Yellow River Game Ranch
The Home of General Beau Lee

Georgia’s Furry Forecaster, General Beau Lee, made his annual weather prediction at the Yellow River Game Ranch just after 7:30 am Eastern on Saturday, February 2, in balmy 21-degree weather.

As hundreds of bleary-eyed, faithful supporters cheered him on Beau spied his ample shadow, foretelling that citizens far and wide may anticipate at least six more weeks of woe-be-gone winter. - (bold and color emphasis added)

And, as we have come to know, Beau is almost always right.

Beau, Technology Pioneer

Like last year when he pioneered the use of live streaming video for weather prognostication, Beau announced his prediction on his Twitter page (@GameRanch). This year, Instagram users were treated to Beau’s photo stream at @GameRanch, where photos of the special event were posted by Beau and Game Ranch staffers.

Every year, General Beau Lee, Ph.D. awakens to the ringing of the antique bell outside his “Weathering Heights” mansion, where he lives in touch with the elements year ’round– unlike his punky counterpart in Pennsylvania who lives in a climate-controlled environment in the town library where he is fed dog food and ice cream. That’s why Beau can claim a 94% accuracy rating while the pampered impostor is rumored to manage a lousy 39%. - (bold and color emphasis added)
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View the complete post at:

http://www.yellowrivergameranch.com/ghd2013/